Domestic violence is more than hitting someone

  • Published
  • By By Pauline Richard
  • Family Advocacy
ELMENDORF AIR FORCE BASE, Alaska --  October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. All of us understand that hitting someone is violence against another person, however do we realize that striking your partner or spouse is domestic violence? 

The State of Alaska and the UCMJ both addresses domestic violence as a crime. 

As I read the paper this week it struck me that almost every day there was a story about domestic violence and in many cases the victim was murdered. The statistics are grim. A headline on the Alaska Section of the Anchorage Daily News last week read "Alaska leads grim roundup." 

The article quoted statistics from an annual account by the Violence Policy Center. It stated the rate at which women were killed by men in 2004 was the highest in Alaska as compared to the Nation. The rate was 2.83 per 100,000 women per capita. 

Take as an example the case where the boyfriend tortured, raped and sodomized his girlfriend before murdering her. This may be a severe example but it still happened. This does not mean other states were not reporting statistics that were less grim. Any domestic violence is too much. 

Domestic Violence is defined as physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual and economic violence. It can include withholding of money for necessary medications, food and other needs. Choking, strangulation, harm, stalking, assault including sexual assault are also included. 

DV is anything that says "I control you" to the victim. Alaska law applies to roommates, couples cohabiting, couple with a child in common as well as a legally married couple.
Survivors face many obstacles in trying to end the abuse in their lives. Most victims are able to if they receive help. Abusers use many ways to isolate, intimidate and control their partners. It starts insidiously and may be difficult to recognize at first. 

Early on, the partner may seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be frightening and controlling. Initially the abuse is an isolated incident for which the partner expresses remorse and promises never to do again and you may find yourself saying "but he didn't mean to hurt me." 

You may find yourself rationalizing that it happened due to stress or because you did something wrong. 

The military is not exempt from this insidious behavior and that is why Family Advocacy Programs were created by the Department of Defense and funded by Congress. 

The Anchorage community kicked off October Domestic Violence Awareness Month with an opening ceremony at the Loussac Library in Anchorage. Brig. Gen. Hawk Carlisle, 3rd Wing commander, along with other community members came together and declared a united front on standing up against domestic violence. 

Let us all declare our support for an end to domestic violence by pledging to seek help if we encounter domestic violence in ourselves, our friends and our co-workers.
The Family Advocacy Program has programs to address domestic violence and child abuse. We have prevention classes and treatment options to help all military deal with this issue. Fort Richardson also has a Family Advocacy Program to help Army personnel with training and treatment. 

For more information, contact the Family Advocacy Program at 580-1044. The Fort Richardson program can be reached at 384-1006.