Remember: resilience is a process, not a trait

  • Published
  • By Chris McCann
  • JBER Public Affairs
JOINT BASE ELMENDORF-RICHARDSON, Alaska --  Sometimes, life throws curveballs that can leave you lying in the dirt, wondering what just happened. You know you have to get back up and take another swing, but when you've just been metaphorically hit in the head, that's easier said than done.

Fortunately, you've got teammates that will offer a hand and an ice pack to get you back into the game.

"Resiliency is thriving under pressure," said Diann Richardson, a Family Advocacy outreach manager at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson. "You can survive, or you can thrive. The resiliency element is here to enhance people's life skills and help people learn them or put them into practice."

There are many elements to resilience, Richardson said.

One is a healthy lifestyle - with some kind of physical outlet other than military physical training, whether it's going to the gym or taking a bubble bath, to help manage stress.
"Doctors tell depressed people to exercise, even though they don't want to, because it gets the endorphins going. No one gets depressed about having exercised," Richardson said. "But everyone feels better having done it."

Another is some kind of social network; friends or family to talk to and be connected with.
"A social connection is part of resiliency," Richardson said. "Meeting people and making connections is important; in some ways, they can be a trusted confidant."

And making sure to socialize with positive people can help, too.

"Surround yourself with can-do people," Richardson said.

Mental self-care is some way to exercise your mind - whether it's doing sudoku or crossword puzzles, learning a new language, or a creative endeavor like painting or dancing.

Lastly, the spiritual is an important component of resiliency, Richardson said. "It's being connected to something outside yourself. It could be a higher being, nature, connection to family, or belonging to something. Not everyone has the same level of need for it, but we all have some need."

Needs dictate behavior, she said. And much like a child who is hungry will act up and get cranky, a person with some unfulfilled need will have difficulty.

"For example, if I don't exercise, I get cranky. If I go seven days without running, my family can tell," Richardson explained. Fulfilling the four pillars of self-care can go a long way toward building resilience.

Having a mindset of not letting the curveball keep you down also can keep you able to bounce back.

"You have to realize that change happens and bad things happen, without letting your world get rocked," Richardson said. "You can adapt and even have better functioning. People are under a lot of stress right now about the economy and their jobs. But if you have a positive point of view, whatever comes your way, you can adjust."

Resilience tends to be a process, not a trait, Richardson said. That means anyone can acquire the tools and learn to survive and even thrive under pressure.

You might have had it modeled for you at home, or by someone at work, or just by trial and error.

Re-training your mind is also a key component.

"Understanding setbacks are a part of life and having some feeling of control over aspects of your life" are mentally important, she said. "We're not robots, and we don't have to respond a certain way to events. We can be conscious of our choices and not reactionary by improving our problem-solving skills."

For example, a Soldier newly assigned to JBER who has no friends or family here might tend to stay in the barracks alone - which wouldn't be helpful.

"Private Snuffy should know himself, and know how he deals with stress. If that's bowling, great; get out and do what you enjoy doing."

Getting out and doing something would also help Private Snuffy forge some social connections, and maybe get him involved in other activities.

"Trying new things is always good," Richardson said. "If you go take a yoga class and you hate it, at least you tried it. The first step is going out...and you might meet a best friend. I met my best friend at a play group for our children."

With so many activities on JBER and in the surrounding areas, there's sure to be something to pique anyone's interest.

But perhaps that lump on your head isn't going to be fixed with a good round of bowling, or a soak in a hot tub, or reading the Bible.

Maybe you really need some help dealing with your children who aren't behaving after this last deployment.

Maybe your marriage is going down the tubes and bills are piling up because you can't deal with any more stress in your life.

There are plenty of agencies on JBER that can help. Whether it's getting yourself into a parenting class to improve your skills, enrolling in marriage counseling, or just learning to communicate better with your significant other, Family Advocacy can assist.

If you don't know where else to turn, visit the Family Advocacy Program's office, on the first floor of Building 600. They can steer you in the direction of whichever agency can help you out.

Richardson carries some printed quotations about resilience with her when she teaches classes around the installation.

"Obstacles don't have to stop you," said Michael Jordan. "If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."