New Parent Support Program can help Published March 31, 2011 By Chris McCann JBER PAO JOINT BASE ELMENDORF-RICHARDSON, Alaska -- There's no test required, no certification necessary, to have a child. Children don't come with owner's manuals either. Raising children can be stressful and confusing, and when a new parent doesn't have family support, it can make it even harder. Children can be neglected or even abused when a parent doesn't know where to turn. The New Parent Support Program on Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson tries to remedy this problem by assisting those new to the process, from pre-natal care through the third year of a child's life. "The public accepts that child abuse is a problem," said Verna Loosli, outreach manager for the Air Force Family Advocacy program on JBER. "The protective factor to prevent it is keeping families strong." The nature of the military means that people - both service members and their families - are often separated from their natural support systems. When you've just changed duty stations, it takes time to make new friends, and parents and siblings usually aren't nearby to help with babysitting or advice. The AFFAP provides child abuse prevention training to all service members, and focuses on it strongly during Child Abuse Prevention Month in April. Perhaps more importantly, they provide outreach to all military families to help parents learn what's normal and how to focus on spending time with their children and enjoying it. "Families are doing the best they can with the tools they have," Loosli said. "No one wants to hurt their kids. We all have a 'tool belt' of parenting skills, usually what we learned from our parents. We just give people more tools." Loosli pointed out that 2-year-olds usually learn - and use - the word 'No.' Their chronic refusals of things can be frustrating; it's called the 'terrible twos' for a reason. But parents who understand that point of development can take comfort in the fact that their child is developing normally and taking the first steps toward independence. The NPSP provides plenty of assistance, with events for parents and children to spend time together. They also provide home visits from nurses and social workers - all voluntary - to help new parents with pregnancy, post-partum care, and support and respite care. "They can talk about ways parents can manage stress," Loosli said. The program also provides vouchers to the JBER child development centers for care, so parents can get away for a date. "They're still husband and wife," she said. "And they need to keep their marriage strong." Child abuse has far-reaching implications, Loosli said. Childen who are abused or who are even exposed to domestic violence are three times more likely to be in an abusive situation - as the abuser or the victim - as adults. Studies also have shown that long exposure to the fight-or-flight response and the chemicals in the brain that it causes makes children's brains develop differently, she said. They can be more prone to lashing out when they get older. While this can certainly be overcome, it's better to stop it before it begins. Victoria Stewart, an Air Force spouse, has twins who are two and a half. She has been involved with the NPSP since her pregnancy. "One thing that almost kept me from using the program was that I have two college degrees," Stewart said. "I thought, 'I don't need that!' But no college can prepare you for parenthood. I did it reluctantly, but now I can't imagine doing this without those resources." "They helped me a lot with the twins' sleeplessness," Stewart said. "Of course, when one wakes up, it sets the other off. They gave me a lot of encouragement and a lot of practical information." Additionally, Rudy, the older twin, had a mild neck problem that gave him difficulty in crawling and walking. "The NPSP turned me on to therapy through TRICARE - and I never would've thought about it, because I was so exhausted from their sleeplessness." Rudy and Teddy, like many twins, have their own 'language' they use with each other, and are now in speech therapy - also through TRICARE - and are making great strides. "It comes from the information that the NPSP provided," Stewart said. "Parents really should have a resource this rich in information and this readily available."